Crystal Writes A Blog

A place to read what Crystal writes

With Almost All of My Heart


Concrete Love Declaration of David to Crystal, Decorated and Photographed by Crystal A Murray

Concrete Love Declaration of David to Crystal, Decorated and Photographed by Crystal A Murray
Click image to open a new tab/window to view the original image and to access my full photo stream at Flickr.

When my husband David first declared his love for me, he said he would love me forever and three days because forever and a day just wasn’t long enough. After a hard year in 2009 that included a huge flood in our basement, David decided to re-declare his love for me by adding a permanent reminder to the new cement work we put in as part of our future flood prevention efforts. On the morning of our 19th wedding anniversary in 2010, I decorated the heart and took the above picture as a forever memory.

Sometimes, it’s hard to believe that a couple can stay together for a long time and still keep saying they want to keep each other forever. So many things happen on the way to forever, and it takes more than romance to get all the way there. Both of our first two initials are enclosed the heart image to show our dual commitment. We share far more than a last name. We share a lot of good times, but we also share some bad times. It’s in getting through the bad times that you learn whether someone is really in it for the long haul. If you love someone with almost all your heart, you may not have the heart you need to make it through the inevitable difficulties of life and love.

In today’s reading from Deuteronomy 18:6 through Deuteronomy 18:13, we have two main subjects. In the first, Moses tells Israel what to do should a Levite that is not part of the ministry decides he wants to join the ministry team. I was a little confused on first reading because I thought they were all only ministers with no inheritance. With some research, I was reminded that some Levites could own land passed along to them by parents who received it as an offering. It appears they did not have to work in the temple, but this passage says that if they decide to serve in the presence of The Lord, they are to receive the same share as the other Levites plus whatever they may receive from the sale of their ancestral property.

The next part of the passage deals with some of what God considers to be abominable practices. Moses reminds Israel that these horrible practices are why God is driving out the former inhabitants, and he gives Israel a warning not to follow the ways of the former tenants of the land. Among the abominations are all types of witchcraft and sorcery. Here’s the exact words from today’s text in verses 10 and 11…

There must not be found among you anyone who makes his son or daughter pass through fire, a diviner, a soothsayer, an enchanter, a sorcerer, a spell-caster, a consulter of ghosts or spirits, or a necromancer.

Apparently, participating in these things takes away part of the heart a person promises to God. I’m guessing that because, after telling the people that these things are abominations to God, Moses says (in verse 13), “You must be wholehearted with Adonai your God.” I knew that tapping into those things could open the door to evil spirits, and I knew that it meant taking on power and authority other than what God gives us according to His will, but I never thought of it as taking away part of the heart we say we are dedicating to Him.

Many years ago, I had friends who owned a discotheque in Southern California. I was a valley girl who loved to dance, so I was there about four nights a week. When disco died down, the owners turned the club into a magic club, and I continued to hang out there. I was always enthralled with illusion and slight-of-hand tricks, and at seventeen, I thought maybe I would like to be a part of that sparkly world. I talked to one of the magicians who was a member at L.A.’s  famous “Magic Castle.” While he couldn’t reveal the actual secrets of a membership there, he did share things about the beliefs of some of the members that made me second-guess my desires.

I was not saved back in those days, but I also wasn’t totally sold out to a life of Godlessness. Thankfully, the part I was holding back was because of a fear of committing some kind of unforgivable sin. Even though I was not yet following Yeshua, I was a believer in God Almighty, and I knew some Bible teaching from years of Sunday School. Something in my heart felt a weirdness associated with those that claimed to practice “real magic.” I now know that “something” was a “Someone” and that it was the Holy Spirit leading me away from a world that could have trapped me in darkness.

Having lived with part of my heart set aside from the life I was living, I have experienced how to give only some of myself and how to hold back the most important parts. In a life of sin, it was a method of self-protection, but I don’t have to live that way anymore. Now, I serve a God who loves me and cares for me to the point that He has every hair on my head counted and numbered. I no longer have to hold back because of fear or for any other reason. I serve God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength, and I can understand why it’s exactly what He desires. I’m grateful that God protected me even when I didn’t know it, and that He only allowed me to love a world without Him with almost all of my heart.

 

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August 19, 2014 - Posted by | Bible Study, Nonfiction, Torah Commentary | , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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